All of those who watch me, and occasionally read my journal know how much I love to ponder on life, its meaning, people, their meaning and their goals, how sometimes they seem meaningless or just cycle what they have been taught, but well, dreams are what pushes us forward and achieving them gives us the faith we need in this messed up world, pleasure and a strong motivation to move forward. But this time I won't be pondering on anything.

A fellow deviant, I believe you've already heard of, if not, then you hear of now: ~HeWhoWalksWithTigers is participating in a competition for a trip to Australia Zoo. A trip I and many others believe he deserves. Please check his video at YouTube [link] and if you feel like me and many others please vote high for his video. It's rather rare in our world for someone to put so much devotion in preserving nature and such beautiful creatures as the big cats and this person deserves our help, especially when all it takes is a few minutes to register and give our vote and spread the world around so other people can learn about this too. Even if you haven't or can't do much about nature and these beautiful creatures, no matter whether it's because you have no time, no idea how, no motivation or anything else, you can give your vote. It is little, but it's worth since this person is fighting for all of us, to preserve something valuable, something that risks disappearing from our world in the years to come if we don't do something.
Here is his journal: [link] If you don't know what to write, just copy it.

And in addition is offering a chance to win a free colored sketch to those who choose to help this cause. For more details read her journal as well: [link]

Some of us are lost and confused, not knowing where to go or what to do, but helping others should not be given a second thought since it's in the nature of every human being to help it's fellow men, help those with clear goals, for the good of all, achieve them.

And I still give free sketches:

7 slots left

1. - Done [link]
2. -Character Done, but no inspiration for scene or something. If nothing gets to me, will upload character Wednesday
3. - rough sketch done.
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Requirement says you have to post this in your journal so it'd be nice if you do so.


Aaand, as a final thing, just a nice song I want to share:
[link]

Saturday and Sunday I had a rather neat mountain hike. Walked more than 40km, got some amazing photos(that will hopefully be uploaded here: ), some mushrooms, which I cooked for myself and my family and were really delicious. Had some really nasty muscle cramps all day today, and a short-lasting, but rather strong depression, and a quick rehabilitation thanks to Cheeteach as an end to another day ...
What sux is that I has to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow, get out at 7:30 and will be back home no earlier than 18:00 in the afternoon , and this all the way till Friday. That's pretty much why I am procrastinating with art
Aaand not to mention I have to make one exam work for getting a job and all he crap they give us from uni...
Still, life is great if you manage to hold the line against all the crap and whatever's drilling your mind and emotions and do your best to end up on top

Free sketches status:

7 slots left

1. - Done, will upload tomorrow
2. -Character Done, but no inspiration for scene or something. If nothing gets to me, will upload character Wednesday
3. - pending
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Requirement says you have to post this in your journal so it'd be nice if you do so.

... a human human. Wondering cos I feel like I am getting further and further away from the common concept. Actually the definition of life and normality varies from place to place and from time to time, but still I feel I'm a bit far from any of them. For some stuff I'm starting to return to "the normal" thinking and appreciation of some stuff, but there are those things that elude me, maybe because of the fact that I pretty much am a being with no past, while most humans rely on their past to support them. They establish links and connections, entwine themselves in a pre-arranged path concerned with mostly the needs of the society and the family. I guess there's nothing wrong with that, but I just like to ponder, no matter that no one probably reads all this crap. Unlike most people I don't have many friends, my family is pretty much only about my material needs and somehow aside from the general compassion and some love towards all living beings I don't feel anything more and thus with almost all people around me.
Sometimes I come alongside people who believe in love and that love will save the world and so on and so forth, but while it sounds nice it's nothing more than a fiction since when one understands the world and it's workings one realizes that it is all about contrast. One cannot exist without the other. And thus sometimes understanding life (or rather some small part of it, beyond common understanding cos no one can understand life, but the Absolute, whatever It might be) ruins the desire to live it. You just see through it and when some other stuff adds up you stop seeing sense in what is normal and even more - you see insanity, for instance why make more children when the Earth is well beyond its capacity by the current moment, orphan homes are full of children left by careless people and so on. Shouldn't we focus on fixing what is already made instead of making new and new. And the various political and governing systems and their grand flaws also contribute to this staleness and lack of true evolution mostly by encouraging egoism and other crap. People neglect their families and don't teach their children basic stuff that only a parent can teach a child, basic stuff that is "useless" by the standards of kinder gardens and schools. Children are left to become violent, more violent even than teens sometimes. How can a seeing person not get discouraged.
So when they say "ignorance is bliss" it surely is, at least for the ignorant and at least while the toxic fruits of your ignorance don't start falling on their heads and destroying them and their creations little by little.
I have left quite a lot of my faith in life as well, while indeed some things can be done, it just seems that many people aren't ready to listen and they might not be some time soon. Somehow the end of the world starts sounding like a blessing, not a curse. Still, if someone believes they can cure people from this, I will give my support.
And as far as the family and children stuff, not so long ago it started coming to me as well, but in a rather new light. I believe some day in the not so near future I will have children, of my own or adopted or both and I will do my best to give them this basic teaching that is lacking, the teaching of respect and appreciation, the teaching of true love, not the one people talk about, not the one that concerns wanting, but the one that concerns giving and other things. But there is time to that. There are lessons I have to learn before I can allow myself to teach someone else, because that's what truly parenting is, not just giving a roof, food, education and some other financial and sometimes emotional support. Everything is in the fundament.
And I'd like to finish this one by saying that while I really resent the fact that my time the first 19 years of my life was pretty much miserable, with little to no fun at all I'd like to thank all of the people, especially those who gave me the worst times, for the fact that they opened my eyes to reality and while my life at the moment is pretty much a stale, it allows me to review, put in order things and hopefully, gain strength and wisdom, and change some things for the better.I don't know if there will be a success, but every small mark on a person's mind is a success by itself and in time it will be enough, not to make world peace of course, but to encourage people to be more considerate, more thoughtful, more respectful. Evil will always exist within every person, but evil is a lower force, it can be controlled and channeled to serve.
So I finish by asking once again, what makes a human human? I guess it has something to do with that blissful unawareness that helps people work reproduce and don't care much about anything

Free sketches are still open...

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Requirement says you have to post this in your journal so it'd be nice if you do so.

Going up to 10 due to requirements for receiving a free sketch from someone else.
The first 10 people to comment here get a free sketch.

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Requirement says you have to post this in your journal so it'd be nice if you do so.

Just thinking about stuff and thought I'd share some.
Watched the movie "Into the wild" today and I must say it is a really nice movie with quite a lot of wisdom in it and in a way, close to my own personality. I also met with my oldest classmates (just so you know, till 7th grade I had changed 3 schools due to relocation, first in the city, later the continent) and one of the topic of conversation was a former schoolmate of mine who is merely 21 and has a husband and a child. To some this might seem normal and even quite positive, but at least to me and some other people, it is quite abnormal, at least for intelligent people who prefer to educate themselves and provide some income before dooming another wretched soul to miserable existence in this world... I think I overdid it a bit. Sorry ^^' ... So, yes indeed there are those who are dumb enough to get pregnant even during high school (I hope no one takes it personally)
What actually made me think about this is that our teacher mentioned that almost everyone in the class liked that girl (that was 1-4th grade for me at least) and than I thought about something radical. There's nothing wrong with liking loving and whatever-you-wanna-call-it someone, but overloving is lethal, not for the body, but for the spirit, for the individual... I haven't realy met her in person, but by what is seen and custom in our country I'd say the plan is that she's found someone having either the money or the education to support her so she'd be nothing more than a housewife. Yep, nothing really wrong with that, actually following a few millenia old tradition (which I think is totally lame) but still, I can't bring myself to calling such a person a living human being.
What I actually mean to say is that too much love and happiness makes a person lazy, makes him not want to do anything because he's HAPPY ... Or is he? Well, I guess he is, since his needs are satisfied like some mammal locked in a cage, given some food and other mammals to talk to/mate with, but they are in a cage, with a whole grand world and a lot of fresher grass. But we people are quite different from animals. If you open the cage of an animal it will go out immediately and seek things outside, if you open the cage of a human, you'll most probably be shouted at and be ordered to close the door and lock the cage. We are the most evolved species on this planet, but the easiest to scare as well. And thus there you go, a cage full of happiness, or a world full of battles and experience... and happiness.
There are many tellings how love and happiness blinds people, but they don't mind being blind and for the most part, it's better off that way otherwise it would've been a total chaos in this world. We need people to play certain roles and as far as equality is considered for any seeing person the impossibility of such thing is obvious.We might be same in the outside and the darn 99,9% similar DNA but in our thoughts and understanding we can be miles apart based on our experience and most importantly - how our mind precieves and develops it, but the main two factors remain happiness and suffering. A lot of either of them can kill a person, in one way or another, while only both of them, applied in the right places at the right times can ascend a person to a full living human being.
Now I'm not saying I'm right and everything else is wrong. No way in hell. Everyone is right in one way or another, for one person or another, at one time or another, but THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A UNIVERSAL TRUTH. These are just some thoughts passing through my mind that I thought I should share. I do feel they are right, though in time this will also change as I've noticed with most of my thoughts but feel free to read and comment on them.

And just one question for people who have read/skimmed/skipped the whole philosophy thing:
BY WHAT DO YOU DEFINE A HUMAN BEING? DNA/Thoughts/Emotions/Something else?

And here are the -------------FREE SKETCHES------------------

1. - Done. Has to scan and upload
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Not much of an enthusiasts. Can't blame them, with my procrastinating nature and lack of desire to draw anything of commercial value(like big boobs or yiff, or yaoi) or post general art of mine that gathers dust on my sheets and sketchbooks. I guess I prefer to draw for myself, what I feel like, when I feel like and posting... well, I've never been good at sharing anyway so I don't really give a damn.